Dating During A Pandemic

Guest Blog; Written by Lucy Gborie, @luyoncee

This pandemic has affected many walks of life, but we cannot for a second deny the impact it has had on how we view relationships. Many, if not all countries around the world have undergone a national lockdown where we’ve been restricted from seeing others outside of our homes. For some of us, including myself, the timing of the pandemic was very uncanny; seeing that I had just fled the nest and moved halfway across the world when it had first occurred. So here I was still a baby to the United Arab Emirates, adjusting to life living alone and now living in a world where social distancing is the “new normal”. Not seeing anybody else outside of my four walls for three months really gave me a lot of insight. I got to reflect on who I was, what I wanted to do in my life and most importantly, who I’d like to do this with.

Before I get personal, I wanted to share with you some statistics on how relationships have been impacted globally during the pandemic. According to the British law firm Stewers, divorces in the U.K. have increased by 122% between July and October 2020. The National Law Review stated that by April 2020, the interest in ‘divorce’ increased by 34% in the United States. Even Oman saw divorce rates shockingly shoot up by almost 50% (according to national news). These figures are astounding; some of us were looking for love whilst others were trying to get out of it!  Contrasting figures suggest that some of the world’s most popular dating apps such as Hinge, Tinder, OkCupid and Virtual Dates saw a huge increase in usage, with Tinder having its biggest day of swipes on March 29^th 2020, according to WebMD. There are many things to consider when it comes to why some are seeking love whilst for others, relationships and marriages are falling apart. The breakdown of relationships could range from finance to mental health. However, in my opinion the most important reason remains one’s relationship with themselves.

According to the British law firm Stewers, divorces in the U.K. have increased by 122% between July and October 2020. The National Law Review stated that by April 2020, the interest in ‘divorce’ increased by 34% in the United States.

Just before the lockdown started, my mum took it upon herself to visit me in Abu Dhabi. Unfortunately, due to COVID she had to leave earlier than expected. This really upset me even though we are literally the human versions of Tom and Jerry. It meant that I had to be alone, something I feared most. After my mum had left, I made a vow that I was going to distract myself with things that add to my life and make me feel happy. I took it upon myself to invest in my relationship with God, learn how to cook (beyond the basics), eat & exercise well and start a YouTube channel. I poured into myself in a way that I had never gotten a chance to do before and by the time the three months of the lockdown was over, I felt brand new and ready to find love. Pre corona and the lockdown, I dated here and there but I never took it seriously. It was just some light-hearted fun, but after three months within my own four walls, coming home by 8, only talking to people with half their faces covered and/or virtually, I decided that I wanted to settle. This change of heart was based on the oneness and love I grew for myself, that I wanted to share with somebody else. My solitude led me to think deeply and in doing so, I came to a realisation that I was a co–dependent. A co-dependent is somebody who relies on people for validation. I carried that co–dependency into previous relationships and ended up engaging in push and pull. It took hitting the wall of having nobody to physically turn to, to take heed and change this.

If lockdown left me with anything, it was the lesson of nurturing a relationship with yourself. Some people conjured up life changing ideas, others had a chance to reflect and realise that they are not their jobs, whilst others got closer to their loved ones and perhaps found solitude within themselves. The most important thing we all could take from this is to cherish what’s important to us and put what matters first. I hope that when the world does fully reopen, the relationship we build with ourselves remains the strongest. Let’s start on that from today, one person at a time. Since you made it this far, hope you all enjoyed reading about myself love journey. It is very much something I am still working on if you would like to follow up on it you can keep in touch with me on my socials @luyoncee on Twitter and Instagram.

Lucy

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