I’ve learned that there’s certain people you can’t invite to your house these days. Those guys that’ll see a gadget in your front room then ask you how much it costs. Dudes will be pricing up your items like you’re on “Can’t Pay, Take It Away” and be so brazen about it. Bro, please don’t come to my yard and act like a bailiff, it gives me PTSD lol. Gone were the days I had to walk passed my own house just encase a bailiff jumped out the hedges tryna catch me off guard. I remember one bailiff catching me at my doorstep and I had to tell man I was Jehovah’s Witness, started quoting bible scriptures on the spot. Isaiah 54:17 had never been so handy for me. I thank God that life has turned out for the better but with that comes the nosey bodies always trying to pocket watch. How can a dude DM me asking what I do for a living lol, are you not mad? Are you an enquiring dad probing his daughter’s boyfriend? I’m sure if I said I did fraud he would’ve slept easy that day.
It’s such a mind f*ck for me, growing up the only pocket watching I did was counting if I had enough money for lunch that day. I remember in secondary school when the brokest guy in the year group tried to claim that I was the brokest guy in the year group lol. Imagine trying to hand-off your baton like a relay race. To this day that guy is still the brokest guy I’ve ever met, including babies and toddlers so you can imagine my shock when he came out with such claims. That dude had less status than a Golden Retriever in an upper class family yet he came for me, behave! But nowadays though simple snaps on holiday and people are doing side eye emoji. “Everyday holiday”, “Why you always stunting”, “Is that you yeah”… no it isn’t lol, this is a Houdini sleight of hand trick ‘cos the real me is pondering the damage to my bank account. I just returned from Dubai and that was a humbling experience, I’m surprised my bank didn’t phone me up asking if I’m aware of suspicious activity on my account. I would’ve probably played along too. Guys out there are spending my annual salary on a night out yet it’s me that’s being questioned.
You can post regular things all you want and no-one bats an eyelid but the moment you post something of value you’re automatically drawing attention to yourself. I’ve actually had conversations with people debating whether they can wear certain things or post certain places in the fear they’ll be viewed as showing off. It’s like people want to see you continuously live a life they can relate to otherwise it makes them feel a way. Haven’t we all come to terms with the fact that social media is a facade? It’s provided a platform for people to flex where ordinarily they wouldn’t have had one… wait, who am I kidding? I remember years ago, way before Instagram and Twitter overhearing one of my guys trying to sweet talk this girl saying “darling, I have an American Express card, money is no object for me”. This wasn’t even a flex, it was a straight up lie but I guess you’ve gotta fake it until you make it however that looks.
This topic is something I’m conscious of because the desire to keep up with the Joneses will have people chasing fast money in the wrong places and I should know, people have tried to rope me into one too many pyramid schemes in my time lol. In short, that’s when the man at the top eats and everybody else is sold a dream. It’s all well and good until you’re calculating how much 100% profit of zero is and the maths is not mathsing. Or what about these ‘life coaches’ or ‘career coaches’ or ‘(insert word here) coaches’ who have no credentials but want your money because they have the key to success. The same success which has been eluding them for years. My friend, go update your CV like the rest of us. Or even those fraud guys, imagine pocket watching a man who doesn’t even earn his own money lol. If social media or any other medium is making your eyes wonder then that’s gotta get dropped like Özil. Watching people’s pockets ‘cos your own is empty is no doubt a recipe for disaster.
Joe