I’ve really been getting into my reading more and more lately. To be honest, since lockdown I’ve not been as consistent as my commutes to work was prime reading time but every now and then I try to set aside time. I’m more of a Stephen King thriller type of guy but can always dabble in some sci-fi action too. When I was in secondary school, I won a laptop after reading the Noughts and Crosses trilogy and answering a few questions on it so perhaps the seeds were sown from early. Throughout lockdown though I’ve been privy to some new reading material. Genre? I’d say autobiographic… or perhaps more colloquially ‘humble-bragging’ lol. And lucky for me, I didn’t even have to buy this new reading material, I have the pleasure of logging into my LinkedIn and seeing an army of status updates of people going out of their way to draw attention to themselves. ‘Le humblebrag’, modest or self-deprecating statements whose actual purpose is to draw attention to something of which one is proud. We all know that one guy…
I’m actually shocked about how many people actively use LinkedIn. Earlier this year I posted about my experience during a virtual panel session at work and got a “congrats on your first post” notification… I had my account for 7 years at that point. This still remains my only post ‘cos Lord knows I keep the fun stuff for Twitter. But every morning as I aimlessly browse through social media, I’m always greeted by some of the most cringe-worthy posts about courtesy of LinkedIn.
- At age 16, I failed my GCSEs.
- At age 18, I failed my A-Levels.
- At age 21, I flunked out of university.
- Today, I managed to secure a position as the managing director within the Merchant Banking Division. Everyone has their own path. Follow yours for success!
Bro, you skipped out like several steps! I like a good news story just like the next guy but how is this even motivating if I don’t know how you achieved this lol! And Lord knows if I hear the “my teacher told me I wouldn’t amount to anything” spiel one more time, I’m gonna scream. What schools are you guys attending to have teachers with such bad vibes? Everybody was a bad guy in school but no-ones there to validate the story, how convenient!
And if it’s not the ‘woe is me’ type statuses then it’s the POSTS where the user thinks it’s NECESSARY to CAPITALISE all of the hard-hitting WORDS for dramatic EFFECT! Is your keyboard stuck or were you just annoyed as you typed that? I understand wanting to be thought provoking but this comes across a bit hostile. I’m CONVINCED some of you lot DON’T have the same ENERGY when your BOSS asks you to get the COFFEES in before the TEAM meeting! Mumbling under your breath whilst you’re stirring your colleagues Jasmine Green Tea by the vending machine. Balancing about four beverages back to the desks but it’s LinkedIn where the caps come out, thank God for lockdown aye. As professional as LinkedIn appears to be, you can always count on a constant circulation of motivational memes which factually may not make any sense whatsoever. You won’t have to scroll too far before you see a Wolf of Wall Street related meme floating on your feed.
Since as far as I can remember my LinkedIn page has looked very similar to my Twitter page, but instead of following celebs I’m engaging with friends, colleagues and corporate influencers. A lot more social media comedians than I remember though, not sure when Rushi Sunak said ‘Rethink, Reskill, Reboot’ that this is what he had in mind. To this day, LinkedIn has failed to help me in any capacity within my career and judging by the amount of rejection stories and recruitment horror shows I’ve read about on there, I think those sentiments are shared by the masses. And I enjoy motivational spiel just like the next guy but LinkedIn has become an avenue for seeking acknowledgement and applause. Not everything in life requires a thousand word post, please update your CV and keep it moving. Not every ‘CEO’ of a 4–man company needs to give their opinion on how to scale the workforce. It’s too easy to go viral, likes and comments are the drugs they forgot to tell you about.