Struggle Love

I’ve officially written the same amount of blogs this year than I did the whole of last year… I really don’t know what to make of that lol. To be honest, I definitely gathered a second wind at the turn of the year, made a conscience effort to blog more and promote my content, and even created a new Instagram page (@JoeOriadeBlogs, just encase you didn’t know). Last year was difficult mainly for reasons I can’t quite share just yet but yeah, I was definitely distracted by other things. Life took over and my blogs took a backseat, avoiding ‘em like the Coronavirus. Lack of motivation with a dash of writer’s block is a terrifying combination, I’d advise you to see a doctor if you have these symptoms for as long as I did. The one thing that stayed consistent throughout was the support of my lovely lady. When your backs against the wall it’s rather comforting to know you’re being supported by your other half.

I don’t subscribe to the notion that relationships are meant to be a struggle. That’s that social media version of relationships they try to ram down your throat, especially forced upon women. Women are constantly sold the narrative that being a ride or die girl is what makes for a good relationship, if you ain’t been through hell and back then it ain’t real. Don’t get me wrong, I also know a couple of guys who’ve been taken for a ride; a Chessington World of Adventures ordeal. One girl way back left me heartbroken, her insults burnt my chest like good whiskey but we move. The funniest thing though is that a lot of the reasons relationships’ breakdown is for reasons (or dare I say issues) you already established from the jump. Financial disparity, cultural differences, being married for 27 years and having 2 kids but realising you’re homosexual like Philip Schofield… you’ll be praying to see the red flags only to ignore them like how Richard Branson ignores paying taxes.

Things Not To Overlook;

• Ethnicity; We’re a multicultural society and us millennials are very accepting of different races and backgrounds… but not everyone shares these views. You’ll be bantering with your partners family but behind closed doors, they’ll be calling you a snigger with a silent s.
• Finances; Your partner has more bills than that Destiny’s Child song and that’s what you want to inherit? Now they’re borrowing large sums of money from you and you’re feeling awkwards asking for it back. Anything under £30 is written off as expenses.
• Distance; – They’re based in a different country… a different timezone and communication isn’t great. You’re doing Skype calls at GMT-5 ‘cos your schedules keep clashing. You guys are planning months in advance just to see each other.
• Ambition; You’re out here making big moves whilst your partner’s on the couch doing nish. When your colleagues ask what your partner does, you say they’re “inbetween jobs”. Now you have to dim your shine just to make them feel more comfortable.
• Religion; Your partner doesn’t believe in God and thinks The Bible is a Stephen King thriller. You’re quoting scriptures and they think it’s Drake lyrics. ‘I wanna thank God for workin’ way harder than Satan. He’s playin’ favourites, it feels amazing’.

Don’t let loneliness have you tolerating nonsense. If someone shows you their negative traits, keep your wits about you. Everything you saw in the past you’ll see in the future; don’t be shocked about your partners erratic behaviour after having a history of erratic behaviour. ‘You can’t help who you fall in love with’ is usually a prerequisite for getting yourself into a relationship with the wrong person. And by ‘wrong person’ I don’t necessarily mean they’re a bad person, but just the wrong person for you. Of course no relationship is easy but don’t mistaken compromise for struggle love. Some of you have signed up to the deluxe struggle package with auto renewals and bonus features. Keep your eyes open and don’t overlook those negative traits. You only have to find the right person one time, don’t waste your time with the wrong ones.

Joe