New Year’s Resolutions… are they still a thing? I kinda liken them to internet trolls, you probably shouldn’t take them too seriously… but you can’t help but entertain ’em once in a while. *Queue the ‘gym’s are going to be rammed in January’ jokes*. The most common resolution i hear all the time is the good old ‘dry January’ one. I don’t think some of you guys realise January lasts for the whole 31 days the way I see certain man chugging it back halfway through; unbelievable scenes. But no resolution beats the ‘learn a new language’ one. Guys are still doing mumble rap then shouting “Despacito” when the chorus of that tune comes on. Every time you go abroad you’re communicating in English and Mediterranean hand gestures. Call me pessimistic but resolutions are definitely a sentiment which I gave up on a long time ago.
Funnily enough, I was recently watching a documentary about diets and why so many people fail to stick to ‘em… bear with me on this, I’m getting somewhere. Anyways, after a whole bunch of analysis and research they realised that the issue wasn’t necessarily with the diet itself but the person dieting. Most people trying to lose weight end up eating certain foods or adopting certain lifestyles which they don’t actually enjoy. Eventually when you don’t enjoy doing something you’re not actually obligated to do, you naturally go “f*ck it” and pick up the nearest chocolate bar you can find. Now liken that to resolutions. The majority of us don’t have a fitness bone in our bodies so is an empty gym on a cold February morning really a surprise? And why learn a language when British ignorance has taken us so far? And if you quit smoking, what other excuse will you make up to have long frequent breaks during work hours without a hint of repercussions?
Also, most of the goals we set ourselves probably aren’t realistic anyways. You went gym twice in 2019 so now what makes you think five times a week is doable? You promised to eat healthier but you’ve got a habit of collecting orange and red chillis at Nando’s, stop deluding yourself bro. Despite what you may have heard, when the clocks hit midnight on the 31st December, I promise you… you will actually remain the same person. Any problems, trials or tribulations you may be harbouring in 2019 will most certainly give you a high-five on the 1st January so the first step to self-improvement is being self-aware about your current status. Not to say you can’t aim high but some of y’all ain’t aiming at all, just hit and hope like a Walcott one-on-one. If you wanna be deceived you should pay for entry at SPAC Nation, at least there you’ll meet a bunch of like-minded people.
Serious question though, why does it take a new year for one to make changes in their lives? Don’t get me wrong, I understand the sentiment of fresh beginnings but for example your resolution can’t be to quit smoking with the hope that lung cancer waits until 2020 to pounce. Waiting for dates to change yet your mentality is still the same. 2020 will so easily become ‘2019 Pro Max’ if you aren’t ready to put in the work. So you “I want a new job but never apply” type people cannot join us in the new year, there’s no space for your sh*thousery. That also goes for you “I’m cutting people off” merchants; if only you realised how close you were to being a recipient to the cutting off. More often than not, the only thing holding us back is ourselves. No need to wait for an arbitrary timeline to make improvements in your life. As the old narrative goes, there’s no time like the present.