Sometimes I feel like I’m living a double life, both with their own challenges but definitely some perks too. I draw a different group of people in with these two personas, but rarely do these worlds cross paths. You’ve got the original me, Joseph, the guy most of my life experiences are based on cos’ I’ve developed a face which attracts f*ckery. Then you’ve got the work me, Joe Adekalu… or is that Adelaku.. Adeleke… Lukaku… I don’t know how many ways my non-black colleagues will intent to destroy my last name. 2016 is the year I get conventionally easy to pronounce names wrong just to flip the script. “Your name is Richard, that’s far too complicated. Imma call you Babatunde instead”. If you’re gonna be mad, imma be madder than mad bro. Anyways, point is my different personas give me different perspectives in life. I’ve never been one to fit into a specific category and that trend is probably the most consistent thing about me.
Between daylight hours I have women trying to get me to donate to different charities but in the evenings those same women are clutching their handbags when I walk passed just in case I do a snatch and dash. That’s one of the most offensive things I see… I should take your bag due to principle alone. But you know what the difference is here; there’s power in a suit! A suit gives off a certain aura which in turn commands respect. It’ll change those “Hello mate” greetings into a “How can I help you sir”. It’ll make whatever you’re trying to say all the more meaningful because your general demeanour backs it up. Especially those tailor-made suits, not those bootcut suits that Michael Jordon used to wear, commands respect! Not attire for all occasions though. Wearing a grown man suit only to bring out your student discount card will not go down without dispute but I’m a man of persistence and did not let that stop me from getting my free hamburger at McDonald’s.
I met up with a couple mates of mine a while back at this bar – they’re not endorsing this blog so they’ll be referenced as ‘this bar’ until further notice. It was after work so I was all suited up but they came from home in their casual wear. I remember walking by the bouncer, even giving him ‘the nod’ in acknowledgement. But when I glanced back to recontinue conversation with my guys, the bouncer had already stopped them in their tracks. The way he was patting them down and searching their pockets, he even convinced me that they were hoodlums up to no good. Did this guy not realise we were all together? I won’t front, when I saw them getting searched, I continued on walking cos’ I’m not one to draw attention to myself you see. Three’s a crowd as they say.
I didn’t realise how important attire was but you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression. It was only until I moved jobs that my old retail colleagues admitted how sh*t my dress sense was lol. Bro, when you’re on a budget, dressing like a broke Simon Cowell wasn’t a fashion statement, more a way of life. I don’t even have to floss now though; majority of the time I’m suited and booted so you hardly see me in anything else. I need to stop heading into these discount retailers though. This beauty was making eye contact with me once in Sports Direct. I was there feeling myself until she killed the whole vibe when she asked if I was the store manager cos’ she wanted to know if there were any vacancies. Still, that’s much better than when I reached a concert Brighton in my casual attire and all the people were asking if I sold drugs… best of both worlds as I said.