This post was inspired by a chat I had with a mate of mine. We first met back in our retail days, those £7.00 an hour shifts feel so long ago! Not too sure why or how but we sorta clicked. He was the joker of the pack and I guess banter grew us closer together. I never like taking myself too seriously and he was on a similar vibe, life is too short. He’s only a couple years older than me yet we’ve had those deep convos on work, health, relationships, religion etc and in general he’s like a brother from another mother and a friendship I highly value. Well, except the time he tricked me and my guy into attending a pyramid scheme event in Canary Wharf lol, I didn’t chat to him for a week after that. Funniest thing though is that nowadays we only get to link up once in a blue moon due to our various commitments but every time we do, it’s all love.
The chat we had was about friendship and how your perception of one changes over time. I find this to be a taboo subject; something that you subconsciously think about yet tend to ignore. I realised that there were quite a few reoccurring themes that cropped up in our conversation. Namely, friends ‘for the moment’ and friends ‘for a lifetime’. We’ve all experienced times where you organise an event and one or two days prior your phone gets hit with the, ‘I just forgot, I’ve got some things I need to do’ text. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of people are actually being genuine but I’ve personally been hit with that line one too many times. I remember organising a party; unfortunately though one of my ‘friends’ was suddenly too busy so she couldn’t make it… wasn’t it ironic then that she and her drunken self ended up bumping into one of the guys who was also attending my event lol. Yeah I know what you’re thinking; not attending an event doesn’t make you a bad friend. And even though I totally agree, it did make me realise that there’s levels to this friendship stuff.
Fortunately, I can laugh about that situation, brush it to the left like Beyoncé said. If I’m to be perfectly honest after all was said and done I was actually quite indifferent as to whether she came or not. The night’s events did not depend on her attendance hence her involvement was not a significant factor to my enjoyment… or anyone else’s for that matter. Perhaps in general I tend to socialise with certain people of which their contribution, or lack of it, has no bearing on my life. No bearing such that a decline to an occasion which meant so much to me didn’t hold the same weight in their eyes. So much so that they’d rather make-up a c*ck and bull story than be up front ‘cos that’s not how our friendship is built. And perhaps some friends are not actually my friends and they only usurp the title of a friend because the actual word friend has lost all meaning, hence I can use the word friend whenever I please…
Isn’t it funny how such a trivial situation made me deep all the people that have both entered and exited my life? I am a strong believer that everybody you meet serves a purpose whether they make it easier or not. I know y’all thinking about your trash exes right about now but I promise, you needed that experience to realise what good should feel like! I’ve learnt from my experiences in order to better myself and further improve any relations that crop up in the future. Its work in progress of course but you can’t fault the effort! Just because someone is no longer in your life doesn’t mean they didn’t play a vital role nor does it mean you ended on bad terms. Unfortunately though, you’ve gotta accept disappointment and fake relations as part of the journey. On the contrary however, you can also appreciate all the people who’ve tagged along that are truly worth the title; Friend.